Monday, October 04, 2004

My Dilemma

It seems as though people are saying that we are on our way to becoming a developed nation and all that hoo-hah. But how is that possible when as a nation we still have the 'old' stigmas of race and religion?

Being born a malay automatically makes me a muslim. There was no choice in that matter. I was never asked as I came out of my mother's womb

"so what religion do u wanna be?"

Seeing that most of my friends fall in the category of being non-malay some problems arise for me. Well, seeing that I don't really hang around people my own race means I happen to be attracted to girls that are non-malay. But this is where the problem lies. It might be fine and dandy to be friends with a malay, but once the inkling of affection creeps in that has nothing to do with just meeting for drinks and such, the ugly head of racism rears its ugly head. Through various discussions with some of my peers the concensus is that the idea of converting is a daunting prospect to any non-malay.

After getting to know me i have to admit that some members of the opposite sex have tried to put that fact aside (through constant reassurance that I would not be staying in Malaysia for ever and thus they wouldnt have to convert if things got any more serious than just the casual relationship.) But then what normally happens is that even though the girls are comfortable with the fact, their friends decide to butt in and start questioning her racial integrity.

"why are u dating a malay guy?"

"what's wrong with dating one of us?"

The list goes on and in the end they fall prey to the constant barrage and the relationship ends abruptly oftimes with there being no future communication whatsoever and leaving me hanging in the wind to pick up the pieces...

There was one exception to this though. She ignored all the jeering from her friends and familly and we dated for almost 7 years. Things were getting pretty serious till i made the cardinal mistake all men make. I wanted more. I don't have to go into the details but we ended up going our seperate ways. That was something i regretted doing, and even now i know that i let someone who was 'special' go.

Currently I will just wait and see what happens and hope that things change. Maybe I'll hook up with the one that got away. Who knows?